Many families won’t have gifts or decorations, or special treats during the holidays. Some won’t even have a home to live in.

Instead of searching for Black Friday deals on toys or gadgets, they’ll be searching for a place to pitch up a tent or a vacant room in someone’s home if they can tolerate it.

Some families will be forced to camp outdoors in frigid temperatures or sleep in their cars because their homes are plagued by unsafe levels of mold and other airborne contaminants.
Some families will have to sleep in their backyards because their home contains high levels of Stachybotrys, and they have no safe place to go to.

It’s a struggle endured by many but understood by few.
But I get it.
I know firsthand how it feels to lose your sense of security.
To leave what was your home without money while struggling with health issues.
To drive down the highway in a car full of people and not have any idea where you will lay your head down that night.
To pray silently amidst tears that you wipe quickly from your face because you don’t want your children to grasp the gravity of the situation. You don’t want them to see that you are utterly and completely broken and in despair because you just can’t provide a solution. So you wipe your tears while sobbing silently.
I get it, and my heart breaks for those families who are enduring these hardships.

I remember the first time we were left without a home for the summer. It was because the home we had lived in for years was being sold last minute by our landlord. It was our safe home, where I was able to do some healing after my prolonged exposure to toxic mold and other contaminants in my workplace. This home had also tested free from toxic mold several times and had zero issues with leaks and water intrusion, so we stayed there for as long as we could but then we had to leave.

At the time, we were caring for my mother-in-law, who was visiting for six months from overseas and was struggling with some malnutrition and dehydration due to the turmoil in her country of birth. I wrote her out a protocol and after a few weeks of treatment, my mother-in-law was doing remarkably well, and then we were faced with the reality that we would not have a home to live in anymore.
I remember her look of panic and all of the questions from each member of the family. “Where will we sleep tonight? How will we cook dinner? Mom, are we going to be homeless? What about our pets? Where will they live?”

That first season of hidden homelessness was crazy but beautiful at the same time.
Each week we had no idea where we were going to live, so we kept praying week after week for God’s provision and help. 
During those weeks, we were blessed to have a few people donate points for hotel stays but everything else was charged on credit, and soon we became seriously in debt. 
We had to move several times from moldy hotel rooms, and we did couch surfing until we found a place that seemed OK, and then it all started over again, three times to be exact. 

It would take several articles for me to effectively explain everything we have endured during these seasons of life, especially the effects on our family dynamics and health.
I share some of what has happened to our family because I want other families to know that they aren’t alone in their suffering. I also want to raise awareness about what is going on under everyone’s noses in the USA and all over the world. Hidden homelessness due to toxic mold and financial hardship is a big problem that often goes unreported and people don’t understand why it happens. It can happen for many reasons, one of them being mold.

“Families who end up homeless are not so visible,” says Joel John Roberts, CEO of PATH, a network of agencies in Southern California that provides services and advocacy for the homeless. “We are seeing more and more families hidden in small motel rooms.” “I don’t think many people, when they think of poor families in America, think of a five- or six-person family living in one room with no kitchen,” Source

I know for many of us our main goal during the holidays will be surviving the season with little to nothing, while battling hidden homelessness, failed health and financial hardship. I know many moms and dads will cry themselves to sleep at night.
I know that uninformed people will say hurtful things because they don’t understand the complexities surrounding your situation.
I know it will seem like you just can’t catch a break and you will feel like you’re drowning while bystanders walk past you.

I know the pain and the struggle dear heart.
Sadly I know them all too well.

But I want to leave you with this. Although right now you may be miserable and wondering why God is allowing such pain, his word says that all things work together for good if we love him and are the called according to his purpose.

So in my brokenness, when I try to make some sense of it all I end up with this:
All of the struggles, the pain, the sadness, and frustration are creating something beautiful, either in this life or in the next. If it’s in this life, perhaps a solid foundation is being built so that we can be used greatly to reach others who are hurting. In the end, no matter what happens, we must know that our life matters and it has a purpose far beyond what we could ever know or understand.

From personal experience, I can say that the amount of people I’ve been able to help as a direct result of my suffering has been astronomical. Over the years, I’ve been blessed by being able to embrace and cry with moms who are hurting and encourage families through their journey. I’ve also been able to educate and offer support to families caring for children affected by mold and those diagnosed with PANS. If I’d never gotten sick or experienced all of the things I’ve experienced in life, I’d probably have little compassion and supporting information to offer, and my ability to help those around me who are suffering would be minimal. 

Through this crazy toxic mold journey, there have been so times that I have wept with women who were about to commit suicide because of their health and living situation. Because I have felt that despair and that level of hopelessness, somehow, in my imperfection, God used me to lift them up, offer support and pray over them. 

So don’t lose heart. Take a deep breath and release all those things that you cannot fix to the master fixer of all things, the creator of heaven and earth.

Lastly, something that has comforted me greatly is knowing that on the very first Christmas, witnessed over 2000 years ago, baby Jesus, Mary, and Joseph were also homeless. So we aren’t bad parents after all. (humor intended)

With Love
Chemical Free Gal

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
Psalm 46:1-3

Helpful links:

Chemical Free Gal Amazon Favorites 

Fragrance-Free & EO-Free Products for those who are chemically sensitive.

About Me

How I survived Toxic Mold

What Does It Feel Like To Get Sick From Mold/Chemicals and How Can Friends and Family Offer Support

My Experience & Using Diet to Combat the Health Effects of Mold Exposure

Homeless The Third Time

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